Unlocking the Door
by Mitch82
Summary: Clark discovers Lex's secret room. *Slash*


Title: Unlocking the Door

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst/Romance

Spoilers: Fever, Visitor, Precipice, Calling

A/N: This takes place the night of Lex and Helen's rehearsal dinner.

**********

Clark was wandering.  
  
No big deal, just wandering. Nothing he hadn't done before. And still, he was trembling slightly. He tried to believe it was because of the cold outside, the water dripping down the back of his neck from his rain-soaked hair, but that was ridiculous. Clark didn't get cold. He was trembling because he was nervous.  
  
There. He admitted it. Good start. The problem was, he couldn't decide where the nervousness was coming from. In an attempt to stop trembling, he focused his mind on all the pending factors. 

1. He was in Lex's mansion. Nothing to be nervous about there, he went to Lex's mansion almost every day. 

2. He was roaming the halls of Lex's mansion. Well, that was nothing new either. Certainly not enough to warrant the knots in his stomach. 

3. He was roaming the halls of Lex's mansion alone.  
  
His trembling increased and he decided this must be it. Clark had never walked these long hallways without Lex at his side. In fact he wasn't sure he had walked these particular hallways at all. He had only been in the first few wings of the house before now. Lex wasn't home, Helen wasn't home, the servants were all in their quarters across the yard, and here was good old Clark Kent, wandering around a mansion that didn't belong to him without Lex's permission. Cold? No. Nervous? Extremely.  
  
But it's not as though he was being dishonest or doing anything behind Lex's back. Lex had told Clark a long time ago that he hides a spare key under a fake rock in the garden out front, and that Clark should feel free to use it any time he needed to. He was just exercising his privileges, right? His privileges to enter Lex's house whenever he wanted. Just like Helen.

A pang of bitterness rose in Clark's chest as he thought of Helen. Helen had moved in to Lex's house. Helen got her very own key to Lex's house. Clark didn't want Helen to have her very own key. Clark wanted Helen to be the one to have to get on her hands and knees and dig around for a   
strikingly realistic fake rock in the middle of a muddy garden to find the spare.

But that simply wasn't the case. Helen was welcomed in to the inviting warmth of Lex's home, and Clark had to watch from outside, which he had actually been doing since Helen moved in. He had been watching from the gate and sometimes from right outside the house, using his X-ray vision to make sure everything was okay, that nothing too serious was going on. He had seen Lex and Helen kiss, even seen some heavy petting which was very hard to sit through. But they weren't sleeping in the same bed. Clark didn't know why. He knew that Lex had slept with Victoria. Maybe he only slept with the girls he didn't really respect. Which could be a good thing because Clark knew Lex wouldn't be sleeping with Helen until things got really serious, but also a bad thing because the possibility of Lex and Helen getting serious was very real.

Clark had seen Lex proposing to Helen. He had even figured out a way to sharpen his own hearing and he heard every word Lex said. The words about how she had been the one to save him on the train, not Clark. Clark had to bite down on his hand to stop the lump in his throat from   
exploding, but somehow he had remained silent. He couldn't believe it. He had always been Lex's hero. Always. He was the one person Lex could trust, the one person who didn't have ulterior motives for being Lex's friend. He and Lex had been the two exotic flowers standing defiantly in the middle of a field of ordinary roses. And now Lex had found someone else. Lex had found that one special person who could save him from the dark side of himself. And after over a year of waiting for the right time to make his move, Clark realized he had waited too long. Because now that special person was Helen. But was it? 

Clark thought back to the rehearsal dinner earlier that evening. It was the first time Clark and Lex had ever actually hugged. After all the times Clark had saved him, there had certainly been a lot of grappling and groping, but this was the first genuine embrace. Lex had muttered something to Clark about his speech that Clark barely heard over the sound of his own hand slapping Lex's back repeatedly, but he couldn't stop himself. He felt that if he didn't slap Lex's back, he would just stand there holding Lex tightly and cause a scene he wouldn't be able to talk himself out of. And besides, Clark wasn't just sad that Lex was marrying Helen. He was angry. He was damn angry, and though he didn't want to hurt Lex, he made sure that he slapped hard enough to give him a good sting.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Clark's heart skipped. It had been so fast and so quiet and only a second later, Lex had stepped away. But Clark was certain Lex had whispered something, that he had felt Lex's breath against his neck. I love you. As soon as Lex stepped away, his full attention was back on Helen like nothing had happened. And still…  
  
That was when Helen stood up to take her turn hugging the best man. Clark hugged her lightly, noticing with some astonishment the difference between Helen and Lex. Helen was small and seemed almost fragile in his arms. He was afraid to even give her a good squeeze, let alone the bear hug he had given to Lex. Lex, whose body was hard and strong. Lex, who Clark was never afraid to touch, somehow knowing that his touch was always welcome.  
  
Then Helen whispered into his ear, loud enough that he heard her quite clearly.  
  
"I need to talk to you."  
  
She glanced down at Lex, who was already in deep conversation with Jonathan about the latest fertilizer on the market, and then abruptly turned toward the lobby and started walking. Clark stumbled to keep up with her and soon they were standing face to face as Helen reached into her purse. Before she could retrieve whatever she was looking for, Martha came out to join them.  
  
"Clark, is everything all right?"  
  
"Uh--"  
  
"Everything is fine, Mrs. Kent," Helen supplied. "I just wanted to tell Clark how much I appreciate his help with everything."

"Well, Lex is like the brother he never had," Martha said kindly.

"And I know Lex feels the same way," Helen replied. Then she smiled politely at Martha, hoping she would go back to the table. When she didn't Helen turned back to Clark.

"I hate to keep asking for favors, Clark, but could you do one more?" 

"If I can I will," Clark said.

"I think I left the iron plugged in at the mansion, and I'm worried someone will get hurt. Could you take care of it for me?" She pulled a single key out of her purse and held it up.  
  
Martha interjected. "Can't the servants do it?"  
  
"It's behind a locked door," Helen continued, shaking the key slightly. "I'm still new to the place and I'm not sure which rooms the servants can get into and which ones they can't." She laughed easily, as though she had made a joke.  
  
Clark was still trying to understand. "Well, you could probably call and ask—"  
  
"Clark," Helen persisted quietly, placing the key in his hand and closing his fingers over it. "Someone could get hurt. You need to unlock the door."

She looked very deeply into Clark's eyes, a hint of desperation coalescing under her collected exterior. Clark finally nodded, knowing that there was more than Helen was telling him and Helen knew that he knew. 

"Honey, you should go," Martha said, clearly not picking up on the tension. "The dinner is pretty much over anyway. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, sure."

So now Clark was walking through Lex's mansion, after having to crawl through the mud left behind by the recent bout of rainstorms to find the stupid house key. The knees of his tan slacks were covered in brown, his shoes were squeaking along the marble floors, and he was dripping water everywhere. All of this added to the tension he was feeling at wandering around Lex's mansion alone without Lex's knowledge of it.  
  
Unless Lex knew. Did Lex tell Helen to give Clark that key? Was it some kind of surprise that Lex was setting up for him? Clark's stomach jumped as he thought that maybe he had misinterpreted the whole situation, and that something wonderful might be waiting behind whatever door this key unlocked. If he could just find it! But he soon discarded this idea. Why would Lex send Helen of all people to surprise Clark? And if the surprise had been anything close to what Clark wished it could be, he certainly hoped Lex would have the human decency of sending someone else. Because although Clark would love to rub the whole thing in Helen's face, he just couldn't. He couldn't even bring himself to hate her. He knew that it wasn't her fault she was so educated and beautiful. Well, at least not the beautiful part. And it really didn't help that she was so damn nice. She didn't lie, manipulate, or even swear.  
  
She did keep secrets, however. From Lex apparently. Clark was unsure of how much Helen had been able to glean from the small sample of his blood she had taken, but from the fascinated look in her eyes every time she spoke to him, he figured it was quite a bit. And there was no way she had told Lex. If Lex even suspected something unusual was going on, he would be hounding Clark every minute of the day. So there you have it. Helen is keeping something from Lex and she isn't perfect and their relationship is doomed to fail.  
  
Clark chuckled to himself indulgently. He never thought of himself as manipulative or selfish, but where Lex was concerned, he could feel his own moral lines start to blur. He had never wanted anything so powerfully in his life, except maybe to find out about his origins. But now he knew about his origins, or at least much more than he had. And annoyingly, he felt even more empty and alone than he had before. This wasn't the way with Lex. He felt that if he could make Lex see how much they could share, how happy they could make each other, he truly would be fulfilled. Lex was much more than hollow information spewed out of the mouth of a rich scientist obsessed   
with a planet that doesn't even exist anymore. Lex was much more than a bunch of spiraling symbols that until a few weeks ago, had meant absolutely nothing to Clark. Lex was everything. Lex filled to overflowing every aching crater of Clark's battered heart.  
  
No, Lex didn't have all the answers, he couldn't put his arms around Clark and say everything was going to be okay, because that simply wasn't true. But as long as Lex was there, it didn't matter. Lex could give Clark the shelter he had always been seeking, not only a shelter of love, but understanding, true comfort, and absolute need. That was one of the constants in Clark's friendship with Lex. They didn't always like each other. But they _always _needed each other.

Clark looked around. It took him a few moments to realize that the walls had stopped moving past him. He had stopped walking. He took a long look at the hallway he was in, the endless rows of doors on either side and tried to remember how long he had been standing there, lost in his own mind. Even more disconcerting was the fact that he had no idea if he had already been in this particular hallway before. They all looked exactly the same, and he had given up on his X-ray vision long ago. After about the thirtieth guest bedroom, he started to develop a headache and decided he would just find this room the old fashioned way, by trying every doorknob. If Helen could do it, so could Clark.  
  
He looked down at the key in his hand with disdain. It represented one more secret he would have to keep from Lex. A secret he was keeping _with Helen _from Lex. Now that was a twist. Clark hadn't been sure if Helen was keeping this secret, but when he remembered the look of muted desperation and fear in her eyes, he decided right then that she most certainly hadn't told anyone else about it. But what could be so horrible? What could be so dangerous that involved Clark and Lex, and Lex couldn't be told about?  
  
Clark started to develop a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Somewhere in the bustle of his thoughts he heard himself praying that Helen really had just left an iron plugged in somewhere. He suddenly felt a great deal more equipped to deal with a little house fire (or even a big house fire) than whatever else he might find behind this elusive locked door.  
  
But whatever it was, it involved Lex too, which meant that Lex could just as easily be hurt as anyone else. Swallowing his doubts, Clark clenched his jaw and continued walking. He tried a few doors on his way before a staircase seemed to pop out of nowhere to his right. Now he was sure he hadn't been in this hallway before. He hadn't seen a flight of stairs in ages, maybe not since he came in out of the rain. After a few moments of deliberation, he decided that he had been on this floor entirely too long and that there was nothing else to be found there. He nodded his head to no one in particular, as if this would somehow strengthen his resolve, and headed up the stairs. The first flight came to a landing and he turned the corner to find another of equal length. He reached the top and found…  
  
Another hallway. Exactly like the one he just left.  
  
"Damn it."

He looked to his left and then to his right. On the right, the hallway went on almost farther than he could see. On the left, it ended fairly close by with a large stained glass window overlooking the property. Clark went to the window and tried to look through, but the translucent glass only conveyed vague shapes outside, tinted by the vibrant patch of green glass that he was looking through.  
  
Deciding to focus on the window instead, Clark took a few steps back and studied the picture before him. He'd always had trouble seeing images in stained glass and the harder he tried, the less success he had. But Lex, having been brought up surrounded by stained glass and countless other indecipherable and expensive objects, taught him a trick he used to see the bigger picture. He said the reason Clark couldn't see it was because the individual colored pieces distracted him, causing him to try and force the shapes into what he wanted to see. The secret was to relax, don't focus on any one shape, and just let the image happen.  
  
Clark blurred his eyes slightly, letting the colors fade together around the edges and waited. Several seconds later, he saw dozens more of those bright green patches that he hadn't noticed before. Each one was trailed by snaking swirls of orange and yellow. Clark's breath caught in his throat with the sudden understanding that this picture represented the meteor shower.  
  
He forced his eyes to relax, not wanting to start over to see the rest of the picture, and in another few seconds, the rest of it came clear. Huddled together at the bottom of the glass, were the abstract but clearly recognizable representations of two small boys, one pale and bald, the other   
bronze and black haired. At first it seemed like a rendition of tragedy, almost as if the artist thought the two of them should have died that day. But Clark looked closer and saw that both boys had their eyes closed with expressions of absolute peace across their faces. They weren't in danger at all. They were protecting each other.  
  
They needed each other.  
  
Clark's heart rate sped up and he had to turn away from the window. He closed his eyes, needing to erase it from his mind, unable to tolerate the mixture of joy and fear in his heart. But the after image remained, burned on the inside of his eyelids. Two young innocent boys, brought together by tragedy. Not just the day of the meteor shower but time and time again. And every time Clark saved Lex's life, he felt his own heart breaking a little more, knowing that Lex was already on a path that would lead him to darkness. Knowing that Lex would never understand why Clark kept saving him, that it wasn't just about his natural instinct to protect the human race. It was so much more. Clark couldn't go on living without Lex. But Lex had no idea that he saved Clark's life each and every day, just by existing.  
  
Clark didn't know when Lex had this window made or how he had kept it from Lionel. And Helen. Maybe they just didn't see the significance of it. Maybe it only spoke to Clark because he had lived through the experience. On the right side of the hallway, just a few feet away from the window, there was another door. Clark went to the door and let his head drop against it, not hard enough to do any damage to the door, but hard enough to elicit a satisfying thud. He remained against the door for a few moments with his eyes closed before lifting his head and thudding against the door again. This time he noticed something.  
  
He opened his eyes and backed away as if the door itself could answer his question. But it looked just like the hundreds of other doors in the house, dead and uninviting. He took a cautious step forward and pounded the door once with his fist, slightly harder than he would normally dare. But the wood didn't splinter or even crack under his force. And he was almost sure he heard something on the other side. Something about the way the sound reverberated within the room didn't seem quite right. He concentrated on increasing his hearing, the skill he had perfected over the past few weeks, and once he was sure his hearing was penetrating the room, he pounded again.  
  
This time he heard the sound bouncing all over the room, an abnormally large room by the sound of it, and lined with a hard surface like steel or granite or…  
  
Lead.  
  
Feeling his breath start to leave him again, Clark focused on the door and felt his headache immediately start to return as he flipped into X-ray vision.  
  
And saw nothing.  
  
Lex had lined the room in lead.  
  
"Oh, my God, I found it." Clark suddenly wished that he were anywhere else. In the middle of a test at school, playing basketball with Pete, even shoveling manure at the farm. Because now he knew that something was seriously wrong and that whatever was behind this door would change his life forever.  
  
Not even having the will power to burst through the door like he normally would, and completely forgetting about the key Helen gave him, Clark leaned on the door, pushing all of his weight forward until he felt the wood start to creak. Then he gave it a soft push with his hands and it swung open.  
  
The lights were off inside, but he could see a few glowing computer screens facing away from him, their light bouncing off the reflective surfaces in the room beyond. Without looking, Clark reached for a light switch on his right and soon the room filled with a sickly blue luminescence, revealing what Lex had been hiding in here.  
  
The first thing that caught his eye was the enlarged photo of his own face hanging on the far wall, surrounded by smaller pictures of him at home and at school, and even a picture of the Kryptonian symbol for Hope burnt onto the side of his barn. Shaking beyond his own ability to control it, he   
continued forward and looked at the computer screens. What looked like nothing more than screen savers on first glance turned out to be much more. The first screen he saw was a rotating image of the octagonal key to his ship. The next screen was a simulation of Lex's car hitting Clark on the bridge over and over.  
  
Clark shook his head violently. He wanted Lex to know the truth, but not like this. He wanted to tell Lex in his own way. The only reason he hadn't told Lex already was out of loyalty to Jonathan. He knew that as soon as he could make his father see the good person that Lex was, he could finally be honest without disobeying his father. But now Lex knew. He had figured it all out on his own. And all Clark could think about was how hurt Lex must be that Clark lied to him.  
  
"He thinks I don't trust him," Clark whispered as the tears started to fill his eyes.  
  
He walked to the very end of the long room and found a large dark box sitting on a shelf. Something deep inside of him begged him not to open it, to just run away and find Lex. To straighten everything out. But his emotions had taken over. His muddled and confused emotions, that were only too human, told him to reach out his hands, unclasp the box, and open it. And when he did, he gasped as his veins started to bulge and his stomach wrenched itself in knots. He tried to scream, but his strength was already gone. The pile of green rocks glared at him smugly and he fell to the floor.  
  
"Lex…" he gasped.

**********  
  
"I think you should take me back to my apartment," Helen said.  
  
The rehearsal dinner had finally come to a close without even so much as an argument between any of the estranged relatives, and Lex and Helen were just getting into the car.  
  
"Your apartment?"  
  
Lex closed Helen's door once she was inside and walked swiftly around to the other side of the car, climbing in and turning the key.  
  
"Yes. Lex I don't think this is going to work."  
  
"You don't even have an apartment. I paid off the lease, remember?"  
  
"I remember, Lex. But I told them not to accept your money. I still have the apartment."  
  
Lex's face hardened. "You lied to me?"  
  
"Please don't turn it into something it's not, okay? I needed time and you didn't give it to me. This whole thing has been moving so fast and I couldn't just let go of everything I know. I had to keep a back-up plan."  
  
"In case of what?" Lex asked, dangerously quiet.  
  
Helen waited for a long time before answering his question. "In case of Clark," she said.  
  
Lex kept his eyes unflinchingly on the road. Helen went on. "Lex, you know I love you, but I can't go on like this. I can't pretend I'm not aware of the secrets because I am. And I can't pretend to be satisfied with the fact that I'm not the only one in your heart."  
  
"Helen, Clark and I are just friends. Nothing is happening between us. It couldn't."  
  
"Yes, it could, Lex." This time Lex risked a brief look into Helen's eyes. "I didn't think it could either, and that's why I was willing to fight for you. I thought that eventually your feelings for Clark would fade, that he and Lana would get together and you could move on. Even until earlier   
tonight, I was clinging to that hope."  
  
Helen's eyes started to water. "But I saw his face, Lex. I saw his eyes close when you hugged him, an expression of the most excruciating mixture of pain and ecstasy I've ever..."  
  
"You're wrong--"  
  
"He loves you. I didn't want to see it, but it's true," Helen sobbed. "Lex, please. I care too much about both of you to let this go on. You need to take me back to my apartment and then get back to the mansion as fast as you can."  
  
"The mansion? Why--"  
  
"Because you know the truth about him… And now he knows that you know."  
  
Lex took a moment to understand this. "Helen, you didn't…"  
  
"It's not too late, Lex. Be completely honest with him and force him to do the same."  
  
"I can't just--"  
  
"Please, Lex!" Tears started streaming down Helen's face. "I've never had to give up something this good in my life. Please don't let it be in vain."  
  
They drove for the next few moments in silence. Lex was seriously considering what Helen had told him, and Helen's heart was breaking with each second, knowing what his decision would be. The car stopped at a red light about a block away from Helen's apartment building. She wiped her   
eyes and grabbed for the door handle.  
  
"Helen, the rain."  
  
"I have my umbrella with me. I'll walk the rest of the way," she stated calmly, refusing to give up her dignity. "Hurry, okay? Clark has probably found it by now."  
  
She started to close the door and Lex stopped her, his own voice threatening to crack. "Helen?" She looked at him expectantly. "Thank you," he whispered.  
  
She barely managed a nod in response before closing the door and turning her back on the man she almost married. Seconds later, the light turned green and Lex's tires squealed against the road as he took off. Helen made about three steps and her vision blurred over with burning tears.  
  
**********

"Clark?!"  
  
Lex let the front door hang open behind him as he took the main stairs two at a time. Then he began the maze of hallways and staircases that lead to his secret room. As he reached his third flight of stairs, he silently cursed himself for putting the room in such a distant corner of the house. By the time he was a floor below the hallway, he was nearly too out of breath to shout, but somehow he managed.  
  
"Clark, are you here?"  
  
He got up the next flight of stairs without incident, but tripped on the rug once he got to the landing, knocking over a potted plant. He leaped back onto his feet, kicked the plant out of the way, and sprinted up the last staircase. At the top of the stairs he turned to his left and the first   
thing he saw was the stained glass window as lightning glittered outside, illuminating the tragic scene for half a second. Then he saw the door to the room wide open with light shining out.  
  
Lex got to the door expecting to find Clark standing in the middle of the room, fuming. But he didn't see Clark anywhere.  
  
"Clark?"

There was no response and Lex was already halfway out the door when he heard a groan. Without even stopping to think, he whipped around and ran to the source of the noise, finding Clark on the floor curled up into a ball. 

"Clark, it's me! Clark!"

He slapped Clark on the face lightly to get his attention. Slowly, as if it was taking all of his strength to do so, Clark opened his eyes. 

"Lex..."

Lex gasped at what he saw. The whites of Clark's eyes were almost completely red with veins and his pupils were fully dilated, wiping out any trace of his normal eye color. Lex held Clark's face firmly between his hands.

"Clark, what is it? What happened?"

Clark's mouth moved as if to speak. His lips trembled and his teeth clicked together a few times. He managed as much as a few consonants, but his voice seemed to be completely gone.

"Baby, I'm right here!" Lex nearly shouted, his own tears falling onto Clark's face. "Tell me what happened to you!" 

Clark's eyes widened as he kept trying to speak, touching his lips together repeatedly, moving his tongue up and down. Lex noticed for the first time the sick shade of purple Clark's mouth had become and he felt his stomach spasm.

Clark finally got his voice to work, but all that came out was a frightening moan from the back of his throat, trailing off into a muffled choking noise that seemed to be coming from his lungs. Finally the effort proved to much and his head fell back onto the ground with a crack. He took a few more shallow breaths before becoming completely still, his eyes focused solidly at the ceiling.

"No!" Lex felt his heart pounding in his ears and he looked around the room, for something that could help him. His eyes finally landed on the shelf standing nearby and his throat constricted at his own stupidity. "Damn it!"

He jumped to the shelf and closed the box. Then he took it into his arms and ran out of the room, dropping it outside the door. He immediately ran back to Clark, falling down again at his side.

"Clark, please wake up. Please..." 

Clark didn't move and Lex started to hyperventilate, feeling as though he was having his first asthma attack in 14 years. He put his ear to Clark's lips to feel for any warmth, any small sign that he wasn't gone. But there was nothing. His own vision started clouding over and he clenched his fist, refusing to pass out.

Lex pulled at the back of Clark's neck to open his airway, unsure that mouth-to-mouth resuscitation would even work in a situation like this. Taking a deep breath, he pinched Clark's nose and brought their lips together, blowing lightly. Clark's lips were already dry and cold against his own, but he didn't pay attention. He needed this to work. He needed to believe that he hadn't just killed his best friend.

After three short breaths, he stopped and put his ear over Clark's mouth. Nothing. He put his head on Clark's chest to find a heartbeat and only heard silence. He felt a sharp sob pulling at his throat and pushed it back down as he started to administer CPR.

Amazed at how easily the techniques came back to him, he alternated between blowing air into Clark's lungs and pressing on his chest. Lex kept going for what seemed like forever, his arms burning from the exercise, his head spinning from all the heavy breathing. But despite his determination, his own body couldn't keep it up. He was beginning to see stars in front of his eyes and his entire body was tingling. He finally collapsed onto Clark's chest, completely out of breath and on the verge of losing consciousness. Lex reached his arm up and put his hand over Clark's mouth to feel for air, but there was still nothing. And in his current position, there was no doubt that Clark's heart wasn't beating. Clark was gone.

As much as Lex wanted to, he didn't cry out loud. He felt the burning in his throat and he let the tears flow freely from his eyes as he rested his head against Clark's chest, nearly soaking the younger boy's tie. But he didn't cry out loud. It would have been undignified and Clark deserved better.

__

Clark deserves to be alive, you fuck.

Yes, Clark deserved to be alive. And now he wasn't. 

Only earlier Lex had pulled Clark close to him, embraced him, even whispered I love you into his ear as a last pathetic attempt to feel close to him, the way they used to be close. A year ago things were so simple. A warm glance between them could fix anything. But now there were so many secrets, so many lies. And just when Lex had been almost sure that something could happen between them, he pulled away.  
  
He couldn't do it. Lex knew that Clark wanted to be honest with him, but his loyalty to his father was just too strong. It wasn't really even the truth Lex was concerned about. He knew the truth, had figured it out long ago. But the dishonesty, Clark's willingness to look him in the eye and   
blast him with lies would have driven Lex insane. Their relationship never would have lasted.  
  
But now he wondered. Resting his head against the unmoving chest beneath him, biting his own fist to stay conscious, Lex wondered if the lies would have been so hard to handle. Because if he had made his move, if he and Clark had finally come together, this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have made this secret room and Clark wouldn't have discovered it.  
  
Lex knew from the beginning it was a bad idea. He knew with the very first sheet of lead that was put into the wall that he couldn't keep the room a secret forever. Secrets have a funny way of coming out. And when they do…  
  
"…somebody could get hurt."  
  
Lex lifted his head with a jerk, looking around. He had heard a voice and in his present state, he couldn't even be sure it wasn't his own.  
  
Then his makeshift pillow began to rise very slowly and he heard Clark take a ragged breath through his mouth. Lex leaned forward to look at Clark's face and shivered as he saw the rotten flesh swiftly restoring itself, and Clark's still open eyes clearing, the pupils returning to a normal size.  
  
"Clark?" Lex whispered. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I need to unlock the door," Clark breathed. "Somebody could get hurt."  
  
"Somebody did get hurt," Lex's voice broke. "But you're okay now. I'm so sorry, Clark. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about all this and I'm sorry that I hurt you."  
  
Clark shook his head, swallowing deeply. Lex's hand was still resting on Clark's chest and Clark placed his own hand on top of it lightly, urging Lex to lie back down.  
  
"I'm sorry," Clark whispered. "I should have told you the truth. I trust you with my life, Lex, it's just…"  
  
"Your loyalty has to be with your family. I know."

"I should have told you anyway."

Lex wanted to keep arguing, but aside from not having the energy, he didn't exactly disagree with that last statement.

They rested for a long time. Lex could think of nothing as comforting as the feel of Clark's chest rising and falling beneath his face. Every so often Clark's breath would start to hitch, and Lex would run his fingers through the silky black hair above him, quieting the upset.

It seemed a rather ironic climax to their relationship, lying together so quietly, sharing so much and at the same time, almost nothing. If indeed it was the climax. Lex certainly hoped that there was more to come now that everything was out in the open, and he was fairly sure Clark felt the same way. But the truth is always a double-edged sword. Moments of uncensored, lacerating honesty change people forever, often serving as a clearly defined point of transition into adulthood, the relinquishment of innocent ideals. Lex held Clark tighter, hoping things would look brighter by the light of morning, and drifted off to sleep.

When Lex awoke, he was in his bed, naked. He couldn't remember much of what happened after Clark had carried him to the bedroom, but the lingering aches in certain areas of his body were a rather pleasant indicator. Smiling softly, he reached for Clark and only found empty space. But next to him on the pillow was a picture of Clark, one of the pictures he had hung in the secret room. He picked it up and found Clark's handwriting on the back:

__

I need to figure some things out, away from Smallville. I don't know when I'm coming back. Or if. Please don't look for me. I love you.

C.K.

P.S. Get rid of that room.

Lex lay back down, brushed fingers against sore lips, vaguely remembered being bitten. Again he didn't cry, and this time he didn't even feel the urge to. He lazily ran his hand over his chest, almost hoping to find more tender areas Clark had left behind. He thought of Clark, knowing he was out there somewhere, knowing that he was thinking of Lex.

Clark would be back. Lex knew him too well to think otherwise. As long as there were people in need of rescuing, there would always be Clark Kent. 

Maybe Lex would go to Metropolis. Not to look for him, of course; he wanted to respect Clark's wishes. But just to be there, to be near him. After all, where else would he think to go? Clark was an immensely powerful creature, but still so young and predictable in so many ways. 

Yes, Lex would go to Metropolis. He would stay a few weeks in his penthouse, sleeping with the door unlocked, knowing Clark would be aware. Visiting some of his favorite clubs, knowing that Clark would follow. Undressing in the middle of his large 34th floor window, knowing that Clark would see.

Clark was wandering. That was all. He would find his way back and when he did, Lex would be waiting.


End file.
